“I prefer spelling it C-O-M-E, but we all have our linguistic preferences, I guess.”
“Yes, Heathcliff likes organic cat food. And he likes sudoku puzzles. And he likes long walks on the beach. But he really likes anything related to jizz, skeet, spunk, splooge, love custard, baby batter, man milk, penis paste, however you wanna phrase it. Again, linguistic preferences. The English language is ever-changing.”
“Today is no-fap Tuesday. Let’s beat the hell out of him, then stare longingly at that poster of Pete Hegseth.”
“I had planned on killing myself today, but after seeing that cat walking around wearing that helmet, I realized life is fantastic, filled with so many pleasant surprises. Choose life, me mateys. Choose life.”
“BUUURRRRRP.”
DAVID V. MATTHEWS 