I found the following student essay on a computer screen at the Community College of Beaver County’s library on April 15, 2002. Except for omitting the author’s name, I now present the essay verbatim.
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Hamlet: Streetwise
Francicso downed his last drink in an attempt to keep wake. He and Bernardo worked as security guards at club Alcatraz. The two often worked one after the other. Tonight Bernardo was working graveyard shift.
Bernardo arrived wearing his dull blue slacks with the matching hat and button up shirt. On his waist sat his belt which held his gun, a bottle of mace, and a nightstick.
As Francisco clocked out, a red Mercedes Benz pulled up at the front door. It was Horatio and Marcellus. They had come to inquire about a ghost. Horatio wore a blue suede suit with leather blue pants and a suede sweater. To set it all off, he wore a white pimp hat with a blue feather in it. Marcellus had the latest fashion of designer Jordans. To go with the shoes he wore a Jordan mesh jump suit with zip up pants. To set off this collectors gear, he wore a Kangol hat and 100% diamond earrings made in Denmark.
Francisco finally leaves. The three then pull up chairs in the boom boom room to discuss matters about the ghost most recently seen. While conversing, the ghost of Hamlet’s father appears. Horatio and Marcellus try to get it to speak some words to them. The ghost seems to take offense to their words and will not answer them. But just when it seems ghost will speak, the dawning of a new day, and the sun arises. The ghost then disappears.
“Because he’s our boy we should tell Ham what we saw, aiight,” said Horatio. “Aiight,” replied the other two.
Hamlet was the son of the late owner of Alcatraz. Because of his father’s death, his uncle was forced to take ownership. Now the owner has taken Hamlet’s mother for his bride, and he doesn’t like it.
Laertes, son of Polonius, wants to go back to France in order to go to school there. He has to get his blessing from his father in order to go. After the father’s blessing he must get his Godfather’s, who is the owner, blesssing.
Finally, Horatio, Marcellus, and Bernardo found Hamlet. “Ham, what’s up, man,” all together. Hamlet still feels terrible about his father’s death. “Why are yall here?” “For your father’s funeral.” But Hamlet was a lot brighter than that. He told them they were there for his mother’s wedding. “That too.”
But they had to tell him some strange new about what they saw at the club the previous night. “Man, we saw yo daddy, man.” This information was hard, but true upon Hamlet’s ears. “For real”, Hamlet replied. “Yea dawg, he’s a ghost, and we saw him in the Upper Room, of the club,” Horatio responded. “What he say”, asked Hamlet. “Nothin’, he just disappeared,” they all replied.
“Keep a lookout though, cause he might come back tonight,” Horatio demanded. No sooner than Horatio’s response, the ghost appeared. “OH SHOOT,” hollared Hamlet. “Is that my daddy?” “Yea, that’s him,” replied the others as they jumped back suddenly. The three cried, “He’s a scary Motha,” “Shut yo mouth,” replied Hamlet. “Just talkin’ ’bout yo daddy,” they laughed.
The ghost then left the room, in which case, Hamlet followed. Once he and the ghost were alone together, it started to talk. “I was murdered by my brother and your uncle,” muttered the ghost. “He pulled the trigger on me while we was rollin’ down 5th Ave,” he continued. “I’m doomed to walk the night because I didn’t let off the burden of my sins.” The ghost went on, “son, you gotta git him, to avenge my murder.” “Don’t worry pops, his butt is mine,” cried out Hamlet. With that the ghost disappeared.
“Ham, where you at,” hollared the others. “Up here,” Hamlet yelled. “What he say, man,” they questioned. He was a little hesitant in telling them, then replied, “First yall have to sware on my nine millimeter here, that no one gets word about it,” he commanded.
DAVID V. MATTHEWS 