Elementary Art Lesson #1 &c., July 19, 2001 

The Best of Both Worlds, January 25-February 10, 2000 (NSFW TO THE MAX!)

Color the Talking Goat Contest!, June 19, 1996 (somewhat revised September 21, 2019)

Call for Submissions, 1994


Flash Fiction (a Hundred Words or Fewer) #63: Meat-a-Mat

Ad from the American Meat Institute, 1947.

My most memorable job?  Working for the Meat-a-Mat during my senior year of high school, 1947.  Not only did I feel sophisticated working there (we were across from the train station—ah, the allure of travel!), but I also, occasionally, as we said back then, got lucky with our female customers.  Though I cut down my meat consumption decades ago (I turn ninety this year), I gotta admit that the finest cuts look damned impressive, and they make you look that way, too, when you sell them.  You can’t say that about, say, carrots, despite how they improve your eyesight.

Copyright © 2019 by David V. Matthews

DVM’s Letters (A New Feature)

All from the Beaver County Times (except for the added images):

Retaliate against Terrorist Attacks (November 30, 2010, and December 7, 2010) 

Stupid Is As… (October 27, 2010, and October 31, 2010)

A True Free Market Is the Best Apology (July 7, 2009, and July 10, 2009)

Nothing Wrong with Goose Hunt (December 28, 2008, and January 2, 2009)

Marriage between Man and Woman (December 5, 2008; December 10, 2008; and December 12, 2008)

Ailing White House Press Secretary Tony Snow Quits (September 1, 2007, and September 6, 2007)

Flash Fiction (a Hundred Words or Fewer) #61: Le Hoppy Merchant

Seeing that Jeff’s blog featured Le Hoppy Merchant, in which that black-and-white drawing of the yarmulked, hook-nosed, black-bearded Jew gleefully rubbing his hands together, a drawing the alt-right called Le Happy Merchant, had turned into a purple Easter bunny, with even the yarmulke and beard purple, reminded Taylor once more that the alt-right sucked.  As head of REAL (Republicans Everywhere Are Lit), an organization aimed at Millennials, she knew that reclaiming wokeness from the Democrats required an avoidance of stupidity and an embrace of inclusiveness toward everyone, even Muslims and Latinx.  (Plus that creep Jeff had kept hitting on her.)

Copyright © 2019 by David V. Matthews