Eeeee–No E!: Typical Man

As I jog past Bob and Alyssa McGavin’s McMansion that morning as usual, a shot rings out.  I stop.  Another shot rings out.  I turn around just as Bob strolls out in his usual gray suit, carrying a giant, nasty-looking pistol.

“Good morning,” I say.

“Good morning.” Bob says almost casually.  No blood’s on him.

“You okay?”

“Yup.”

“How’s Alyssa?”

“Good.”

“That’s good.”  Far off, a robin sings.  “Anyway, I gotta go.”

“Am I a good man?” Bob asks, sounding almost curious.

I try not to look at his pistol.

“Uh-huh,” I say, trying to sound kind.

“No fooling?”

“No fooling, Bob.”

Far off, a cop car wails.  Another cop car joins in.

“You look hot in that sports bra,” Bob says, smiling.

Typical man, I think with disgust.

The two cop cars pull up.

“Uh, I’m sorry for saying that.  About your looks,” Bob says.

 

Copyright © 2018 by David V. Matthews

January 18, 2018

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