(She’s) Barely Legal

It’s after the show
Nowhere to go
Ran out of booze
Ran out of blow

And then I see her
Comin’ my way
She makes me glad
That I’m not gay

She’s barely legal
The best age there is
She’s why I’m in
The music biz

She’s hot and horny
Eighteen and wild
No, really, she was eighteen, I had her show me her driver’s license, you can’t be too careful nowadays, my lawyers insist on it, and they know what they’re talkin’ about, or at least they should know, I pay ’em enough, or actually the record company does…
So, uh…where was I? Oh yeah…

She’s hot and horny
Eighteen and wild
She looks just like
A slutty child

We go to my room
I strip her bare
Good thing she shaved
Her pubic hair

She calls me “baby”
I call her “hon”
I do her till
The night is done

She’s barely legal
The best age there is
She’s why I’m in
The music biz

When morning comes she leaves me
And that’s when…
I know…
I’ll never, ever, ever, ever
Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever
Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever
See her again

Life on the road
Can bring you way down

[Long pause]

Hope I get laid
In the next town

Hey, come on
Millions of horndogs look up to me
It’s called public relations, brand management, making sure the optics look good, whatever
Hee hee

She’s barely legal
The best age there is
She’s why I’m in
The music biz

July 3-5, 1999/September 21, 2000/June 2-3, 2023