On Edge

[spoken]
I see you at the family picnic
I yell out “Hey”
But you don’t respond
You always ignore me
So I pelt you with potato salad
That gets your attention
Then I toss the empty potato salad container at your head
Missing you by half an inch
The other family members have to hold you back so you don’t kill me
You say “What the fuck is your problem?”
And I say, No problem at all
I’m just—

[sung]
On edge
On edge, on edge, on edge
On edge
On edge, edge, edge, edge, edge, edge
On edge

[spoken]
I see you at the family barbecue
This is a different person I’m addressing, by the way
You ask if I’m seeing anyone
You ask this with a smirk on your face
Well, it looks like a smirk
I walk away without saying anything
I walk to the grill
I grab the bottle of barbecue sauce
A glass bottle
I walk back to you
Before you can see me
I swing the bottle at the back of your head
THWACK
The bottle doesn’t break
You stumble to the ground
The other family members have to hold me back so I don’t kill you
One of them says “What the fuck, dude?”
And I say, Well, dude, it’s like this—
I’m just—

[sung]
On edge
On edge, on edge, on edge
On edge
On edge, edge, edge, edge, edge, edge
On edge

[spoken]
I see you at the family beach party
This is yet another person I’m addressing
You say “Stay the fuck away from me”
I say “Okay, okay”
I turn around and walk to my car
I pop open the trunk
I pull out a pistol
I close the trunk
I walk back to the party
I’m brandishing my pistol
People look at me with alarm as I approach you
You see me and don’t say anything
I point the pistol to your left
At your six-year-old nephew
I don’t say anything, either
Sometimes you don’t need words when
You’re just—

[sung]
On edge
On edge, on edge, on edge
On edge
On edge, edge, edge, edge, edge, edge
On edge
On edge, edge, edge, edge, edge, edge, edge, edge, edge, edge
On edge
[repeat “On edge” during long closing instrumental section]

Original version: May 26, 1986
Extensively revised version: June 9, 2023