The cancer has spread
You have six months left to live
And Nickelback sucks
We’re getting married
She’s fifty years my junior
We both like cat memes
It’s not CGI
That causes me to vomit
It’s—nah, never mind
My diarrhea
Looks so lifelike on Blu-ray
So, uh, how’s your face?
My cousin owns a
Hundred live Pixies CDs
I think he gets laid
January 12, 2012 (first two haiku revised June 30, 2023)
Bonus haiku:
Global warming
Is bad, but you know what’s good?
WrestleMania
She liked musicals
I liked Nazi torture porn
We got divorced, duh
In high school I wore
A Disney Princess T-shirt
Ha ha, DeSantis
June 30, 2023
DAVID V. MATTHEWS 