In 1991, my college-freshman stupidity almost reached epic heights at the redneck bar, when I drunkenly accepted a fifty-dollar bet from some guy to ride the mechanical bull at top speed for half a minute. Which I did. Then I got off and puked all over the blonde sexpot I’d had my eye on all night. “Don’t drink and ride!” I shouted to everyone’s amusement (but not hers). Then my college-freshman stupidity definitely reached epic heights when I—no, sorry, too incriminating, ha ha ha. Seriously, I haven’t achieved untouchable, grand-old-man status at my job just yet. But maybe someday.
Copyright © 2016 by David V. Matthews
DAVID V. MATTHEWS 